Why do I hate the Swedes so much?

Kiera from the US has several questions, so I am going to portion them out over the next few days. Here's the first one: Do ALL Norwegians hate the Swedes as much as you do, or is that just a personal problem?

Answer: It's not a problem at all, I actually quite enjoy it! Seriously, I see some people have criticized me in the comments section for being anti-Swedish and cracking cruel jokes about the Swedes. Let me step "out of character" for a few sentences and state unequivocally (look it up) that I have absoluty nuffin' against Swedes or Sweden. In fact, I'd love to own a Swede myself, to do chores around the house. Woops, I fell into character again... let me try one more time:

I grew up with tons of Swedish cultural references, from the books of Astrid Lindgren and Selma Lagerløf via Swedish drama and comedy to the very rich tradition of Swedish folk songs. I love Pippi, EmilNils Holgersson, Änglagård, Beck, Albert & Herbert (strictly speaking English), Flickan från Backafall, Evert Taube and a thousand other bits and pieces of Swedish culture. I fondly remember watching Swedish children's television in my grandmother's living room during weekends and holidays throughout the 70s and early 80s - the Swedes generally had much better productions themselves AND they could afford the good stuff from Disney.

I think Stockholm is far and beyond the nicest of the Scandinavian capitals and I absolutely adore the old town, Gamla Stan. I've housed Swedes through couchsurfing.org with great success and I have been to Sweden many times for political events or on holiday. In high school I even spent a good week in Växjö, on an exchange program. The Skåne (Scania) dialect is just about my favorite accent in the whole, wide world.

I love Sweden and I think most Swedes are very nice people. I think Swedish workers in Norway are generally much more motivated than Norwegians and I welcome any and all to travel here, get a job, raise a family, etc. They certainly integrate a helluva lot better than some, as there is probably no people in the world more alike us Norwegians than them.*

BUT, as anyone with any knowledge of Scandinavian history will know, there has always been rivalry between our three countries, and Norway and Sweden have a loooong tradition of telling lame jokes about each other, dissing each other before sports arrangements (and gloating after) and generally behaving like siblings will. And that's how I view the Swedes: Not as cousins but siblings. I'm pickin' up the pace of the harassment a couple of notches, but it's all tongue in cheek and I trust most Swedes will take it that way.

(* Though I still say surströmming is canned death)


Lene Johansen said...

Nuff said!

Lene Johansen said...

URK! I did not mean to post the nuclear power link, I meant to post this as my second SATW link:

Ms. Beddes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kiera said...

Hahaha! Thanks for clearing up that question.
p.s. totally agree about the surstromming though. I hope a bulging can of the stuff never crosses my path.

Anonymous said...

I'm swedish and i grew up with tons of norweigan jokes. It was a time when my brain wasn't developed when i was about 11 years old. Back then i hated Norway for no reason. But now i've come to a good conclusion. Norway and Sweden are exactly the same. The only thing that seperates us is our language which i think is very similar. I love Norway and your language you always sound so positive! Love from your neighbour Sweden :)

Anonymous said...

Scania? How could you! Besides it's actually a little bit ironic that you like swedes and the best are scanians,who speaks something more danish than swedish and have been danish way longer than swedish. That's a little bit disapointing.

Anonymous said...

The reason I dislike the swedes is because they let the germans go through their country to get to Norway and Denmark. It's kinda like the same thing with Americans and black people. Black people (not all) generally have a thing against Americans because of slavery. We really should let the past be the past, but it's hard when they're such big events.

Anonymous said...

Just a quick note to the guy above me, German troops never entered Sweden during WW2, they invaded Norway by sea and Denmark by land... When it comes to my own opinion of Sweden, i too think of them as siblings....

Anonymous said...

I'm from sweden and come on, there is no need to hate sweden because of old history. Personally I love Norway and your language :) Btw, I also love the Skåne dialect :)

Anonymous said...

Sweden and norway are the rape capital of europe and yet they both lecture the world on how advanced their countries are for Equality, absolute stunning arogance for this day and age, the world should shun you both.

Anonymous said...

One really great thing with all the Swedish workers in Norway is that it raises the mean IQ of both countries.

Anonymous said...

To the commenter above who said that the germans only went via sea and that no germans went via land thru sweden during wwII. huh??? I guess we're not counting the million or so troops that the swedes transported via train to and from Norway...

Anonymous said...

My Norwegian grandmother use to tell me, " a thousand Swedes were chased through the weeds by one Norwegian."

Anonymous said...

About Sweden letting germans use the train... While that is true, Sweden also let allied troops use territories at sea for setting up bases and storing supplies, but not until the war turned and went bad for the germans though...

Anonymous said...

sweden and swedes can be described in one word: disgusting.

Nillah said...

I love Norway and hate Sweden a lot!
Sweden is the worst country ever!!!!

I don't consider Sweden a developed country, but a third-world one because:

- Can I consider Sweden a developed country by protecting gangs of bad muslims who rape everyone and everything instead of deporting them like Norway really does?
- Can I consider Sweden a developed country by loving those bad foreigners to their own citizens?
- Can I consider Sweden a developed country by letting be damaged anyway, meanwhile, Norway doesn't?
- Can I consider Sweden a developed country by preferring a foreign beggar, who are stealing, raping, robbing and committing crimes, instead a foreign professional and skilled worker whose aims are to improve and help the country??? That's why many foreign professional workers prefer Norway to Sweden
- Can I consider Sweden a developed country by preferring those foreign professional beggars so much that waste a lot of money on those parasits and getting down swedes' retirement???
- Can I consider Sweden a developed country by having had riots, bomb attacks, a lot of crimes and rapes???
- Can I consider a developed country one which many swedish professional workers are leaving Sweden to live in Norway because Government are too keen on professional foreign beggars???
- Can I consider a developed country one whose teachers are too low paid like in Sweden????? Norway pays properly its teachers like if they have one more high profession like medicine, eengeniering and accounting. In the meatime. Swedish teachers are getting too hungry and into debts while Sweden is paying a lot to those stupid beggars????
-Can I consider Sweden a developed country which retired people earn a SHIT while parasits are living like crazy???
- Can I consider Sweden a developed country by having Europe's highest gap between Rich and poors???
- Can I consider Sweden a developed country by not mattering foreign students are getting too hungry because of how low wages are????
- Can I consider Sweden a developed country by not giving job to Swedes and professional foreign workers????
- Can I consider Sweden a developed country by having a Tax discount which is not suitable of how low Swedes' wages are????
- Can I consider Sweden a developed country by having too stupid, ignorant and unpleasant citizens because they love to be so????
- Can I consider Sweden a developed country by creating ghettos for professional foreign workers????
- Can I consider Sweden a developed country by having a high crime rate while every single idiot thinks Sweden is a paradise and safe ¬¬????
- Is Sweden an ideal country???? IT ISN'T OF COURSE

That's why I'd never change my beautiful Norway for fucks like Sweden!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha! Sweden a MOT DEVELOPED country?! Compare to Norway?! Hahahahaha! I think Norway is around 50 years behind Sweden when it comes to, production, education, technology, inventions, infrastructure, service, fashion and much much more.

Norway have more jobs, due to the oil, but that's about it. They where to poor, undeveloped and even to technical retarded to drill the oil for themselves. They had, and still, to get help from the UK.

I am personally from south of Europe, have lived all over Europe, but I have never seen any more of a hill billy, white trash country than Norway. Norway is so behind the rest of Europe in al lot of things. Especially when it comes to racism and integration.

The first university in Norway started 1811!!! Hahahahaha. No wonder there is no inventions from Norway!

Its xenophobia everywhere. Everything is closed on Sundays, the banks close 15 pm and the roads are worse than in Africa.

The cultural life is non existent.

And the poor quality of food is a fucking mess. There is no food culture what so ever, and you always pay an over price for bad bad quality.

The best people I met in Norway, who I first though came from Norway, were from Denmark or Sweden. Norwegians are extremely lazy.

I seriously had it better in Russia than in Norway. I am not kidding!

Also one funny myth. Norway is not rich, or the government is rich... but the people is not!

Alvar Larsen said...

a southern European calling a northern European lazy...

Anonymous said...

I`m a Muslim and I don`t like swedish (and other germanic) women at all. They are not my taste.